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How I coached a child?

By zaheen | April 4, 2011

I had a mother call me up and tell me she was referred to our wellness centre by a mental health therapist for her 9 year old daughter, specifically for meditation. Upon questioning she stated that her child seems more anxious and “worried”, especially since her older sister passed away. I asked if I could offer a consultation and mom gladly agreed. Now my coaching is based on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and we are taught how when we are doing something unconsciously we are actually making images at the same time, which lead to words and thoughts and then lead to belief systems which form our reality.

Mom and daughter come into my office and after talking for a while about what they mean when daughter is anxious or worried, I ask daughter to give me an example of when she thinks she is anxious and she gives an example of when mom drops her school and when she comes out of the car she tells mom (every school day): ” Don’t forget to pick me up” Now this may sound pretty normal to some of you because it may be something most kids would say. However, her mom has never left her at school and has been on time. Daughter wants to stop saying that, but she doesn’t know why she says that in the first place.

I placed a card on the floor with the word “Example” written on it. I asked daughter to step on the card and act out exactly what she does when she comes out of the car at school. As soon as she said the words above, I asked her to step off the floor card and observe herself coming out of the car and saying those words… and as she says them what is going through her head, what images is she forming?

Daughter says, “I feel mom loves older sister (who passed away 3 years ago) more than me. I am scared.” We stopped the consultation at this point because both daughter and mom did not realize that this is what was going on. We chatted some more and I remember mom telling me that she could not believe how I “unpacked” the issue in half hour when this has never come up with the mental health therapist. I told her this is the magic of NLP!

Topics: Law of Attraction, NLP, Relationships | No Comments »

Being Free to Choose What to Eat

By zaheen | March 6, 2011

November 2010, I held my one-day workshop on “Release the Weight” and I had a gentleman who had struggled with his weight for a while. In the afternoon, when we worked on finding his limiting belief and like most people who have gone through the 4-step method, it was a shock for him to realize he had been holding on to a limiting belief that was along the lines of worthiness – I can’t exactly remember what it was. However, as we proceeded on  to replace that belief to an empowering one that would help him release weight, he was completely immersed in the process and came up with a beautiful empowering belief as follows: “I am free to choose”

As I was coaching this gentleman a couple of months later, he stated how powerful the belief change was because it helps him overcome temptations. For example, where once he would see a bag of chips, he would grab it and eat it, but now when he sees a bag of chips, he says to himself, “I am free to choose” and automatically the temptation disappears and life goes on. Well, I am happy to say that he has released some weight and he looks great.

Topics: NLP, weightloss | No Comments »

Do you have will power or self control?

By zaheen | February 2, 2011

I just completed my workshop on belief systems and weight loss and I worked with a lady who upon doing some group work, found that her limiting belief was, “I have no self control”. Here is some background – from the time she came home at 3 p.m. to suppertime, she would find herself snacking away and so she felt that she had no self control or will power.

The next part of the workshop is to change the limiting belief to an empowering one using a 4-step belief-change method (created by Tim and Kris Hallbom of the NLP institute of California). As the lady went through the steps, I decided to ask her, “Has there been a time that you do have self control?” She answered yes, so I asked her, “give me an example of when you seem to have self control?”

She answered, “When I shop with my friends, I seem to have more self control and do not spend frivolously.” I then asked her, “What makes you not spend frivolously?” She stated quite confidently that she will not spend on an item just because it is $5 or on sale, she will spend on quality and only if she is sure that this is what she wants.

I then told her to take that feeling of self control as a resource and know that indeed she does have self control and she can use that same resource feeling when she finds herself going towards the pantry or refrigerator. She stayed in that feeling for a while and then I asked her to create a new empowering belief that would replace the old limiting one. With calmness, confidence and some tears she stated, “I am strong and confident and am free to choose!”

I asked her to visualize her new future with the resource she has and her new empowering belief and it looked promising. I will find out how she is doing since the workshop.

Topics: Law of Attraction, NLP, weightloss | 1 Comment »

Do You Find Comfort in Food 2?

By zaheen | January 6, 2011

So continuing from the last post:

As my client informed me about the co-worker and the frustration she was having, we stepped aside and I explained to her that “Every behaviour has a positive intention.” I have said this to many clients and some have replied, “I don’t see any positive intention in this behaviour.” However, at the end of the coaching session each one realizes the positive intention.

For example, when a person smokes, the behaviour or habit is seen as negative because the cigarette is harming the individual’s health. However, when you ask a smoker, “what do you get from smoking or what is the positive intention behind smoking?” Some will say “relaxation” while others will say “freedom”. Therefore, the individual smoking is really looking for a way to relax better or access the feeling of freedom, which are all positive things.

So going back to my client, I asked her to go back to a time when she felt the frustration with her co-worker and observe the positive intention behind the co-worker’s behaviour. Then I asked her to float into her co-worker and access the positive intention of the behaviour. Finally, I asked her to float on top or out to her side and observe the interaction between herself and the co-worker.

My client stated that the positive intention behind her c0-worker’s behaviour was so that the co-worker did not have to face any conflicts later on and the co-worker wanted to run everything as smoothly as she could. My client stated that she had never thought of it this way and now knowing this, she understands better where her co-worker is coming from and the frustration could be less or could disappear altogether!

Yes, we did continue walking the NLP levels and came up with beliefs around weight and self-esteem, which we tackled later on.

Topics: NLP, weightloss | No Comments »

Do you find comfort in food?

By zaheen | January 3, 2011

I was coaching one of my clients in releasing weight and one of the things that kept coming up for her was self-sabotage. Sound familiar? My client would crave for sweet carbs and she could not figure out why she kept reaching for them. I decided to walk her through her neurological levels (one of the many techniques in Neuro Linguistic Programming) to find out what was going on for her. After asking her when she finds her self “self -sabotaging” the most, she answered, “coming home after work”.

Neurological levels consist of 6 levels: Environment, Behaviour, Capabilities, Beliefs, Identity and  Spiritual. I wrote down each level on a piece of paper and laid it on the floor, allowing the client to step onto each level as I asked some questions.

As I asked the client some questions around the levels of Environment and Behaviour, she repeated the feeling of “being frustrated when coming home from work” a few times and so she would find that eating sweet carbs would comfort her and make her feel better.

Now most of us would just assume that my client comes home frustrated because she has just worked 12 hours or she is tired or she hates being there, etc. Therefore, without assuming anything, I asked her, “What makes you come home frustrated, after work?” She looked at me with the expression of  “I don’t know”, but right away her face lit up and she said, “I think it is one of the people I work with.”

A different answer from what we would have assumed! I then used another technique on overcoming that issue and I am going to share that with you in my next blog.

Topics: Law of Attraction, NLP, weightloss | No Comments »

Recipe for Rapport by Tom Hoobyar, NLP Comprehensive

By zaheen | December 28, 2010

The holidays are a time when you are required to be around relatives (or in-laws) that you don’t enjoy. Let’s face it; there are people that we see this time of year because, well, we can’t avoid them like we do the rest of the year.

Here’s a formula for making your holidays fun and interesting, no matter who you have to deal with. If you follow the easy instructions below, you’ll be appreciated by anyone you are with, and you’ll be developing skills and habits that will serve you “back in the world” as well.

Instead of just enduring your least favorite people, you can really enjoy them!

How? By using some basic (but rarely practiced) NLP skills to discover how to make anyone feel really good – and interesting — while in your presence.

And we all know that when you make someone feel like they are interesting, they think you’ve suddenly developed some insight and taste, and they will enjoy being with you too!

I know many of you have had NLP training. So have I. But many who read this have not had formal training.

So here’s the recipe for turning what had been social drudgery into a real winning and interesting experience for yourself.

Believe me, it will change your whole experience of your holiday – make it fun instead of a chore – and maybe give you a whole new perspective on someone you had probably written off over the years.

RECIPE FOR RAPPORT

I know, you think you know this already. Maybe you do. But I’ve been in more training classes, as student then as coach, than most people. Also, I’ve had the advantage of 16 years of active study group meetings to practice in.

I still forgot some of the nicer little tricks about getting along with others.

Until I did a review for this email. The idea for this email, and some of the details, came from DVD #3 of the Living Encyclopedia. The wording is mine.
The 6 Secrets Of Being Well-Liked

1 – The biggest secret of popularity is to give your whole-hearted attention to the other person

2 – The second biggest secret of being well liked is to forget yourself completely and become genuinely interested in other people

3 – The third big secret of being popular with others is to learn to listen with everything you’ve got

4 – The fourth big secret of popularity is not to be a know-it-all.  “I didn’t know that!” are magic words.

5 – The fifth big secret of being popular is to admit your mistakes, especially if someone has been hurt or inconvenienced. It’s good to apologize even when it’s not your fault.

6 – The sixth big secret is to say “Thank you” every chance you get.

Everybody cares about himself or herself, so as long as you make someone feel comfortable and interesting, you will be liked and accepted.  You can practice this with any other person; it just takes two of you.

Other people and their interests are more important to them than you and your interests.  If you get it and sincerely reflect this attitude, you’ll become magnetic.

Don’t forget the incredible power of non-verbal communication.Pay attention to eye contact, space requirements, and anchoring opportunities.

A few simple rules…

DON’T EVER INTERRUPT, (unless you are interrupting to agree or cheer with approval). Exception – You can always stop them by interrupting and saying, “Let me be sure I heard what you just said.”  They will almost always stop and give you the floor to see if you got their message.

DON’T EVER CONTRADICT; if you must disagree, simply offer another viewpoint – AFTER validating and appreciating what you’ve just heard.   Like:  “I understand that, and I wonder if _______________(use a reframe from the next page, or offer a suggested alternative)”.  Avoid any hint of criticism or ridicule.

Avoid using the words “but” or “why”, and phrases starting with “you” (unless you are feeding back their language or making a complimentary statement).  Generally replace “but” with “and”.

And some questions…

1) Get their name, and do not think of anything else until you see their name on their foreheads.  Repeat it 5 times to yourself, and if possible, remember someone else you know with that name.  Call them by their name in that first conversation.

2) Compliments work. Sincere “You make this look easy…” or kidding, “I’ll bet you’ve got a screen test coming up; I’m shocked you’re not a big star already!”

3) Parrot. All you need to do sometimes is to repeat the last two or three words a person said as a question:  “I’m tired.”  “Tired?”  They’ll keep talking.

4) Don’t say, “What do you do?” It makes you sound like either an interviewer or a salesman.  Say instead, “How do you spend most of your time?”

5) Listen for whether they use visual, auditory or kinesthetic words. It’ll give you a sense about how to match up with their way of thinking. Then you can adopt the same way of speaking, by just inserting a seeing, hearing or physical word in your speech.

For instance:

Visual: colors, “seeing” words – “I see what you mean”

Auditory: “hearing” words – “I like the sound of that!”

Kinesthetic: “feeling” or “physical” words – “I get your point”

Topics: NLP, Relationships | 4 Comments »

What can I eat for Breakfast?

By zaheen | December 27, 2010

When I coach my clients on releasing weight, I find that breakfast is a meal that is often sacrificed because of lack of time or the common statement – “I am not hungry”. From my coaching and research, I have found that the people who do not have time to eat then eat the wrong foods when they get to work and this creates more work for our body and insulin levels.  The “I am not hungry” people can fall into this category or fall into what I call, “the crashers”. These people do not eat lunch either but they get so hungry by late afternoon that they eat whatever food they are craving for or can get their hands on.

We have to realize that our body needs nutrients. However, when we starve or skip meals, our body goes into starvation mode and stores any fat it can so that it can survive. What if we were to give the body the nutrients it needs? That is right, it would not store fat and any excess fat is eliminated. In fact, most thin people eat 6 mini meals a day. If you are struggling with weight, model the eating habits of a thin person and you will realize that most thin people eat almost every 3 hours – but they eat healthy.

When we sleep for 7-8 hours, we are fasting because we have not had any water or food in our body and that is why the morning meal is referred to as break-fast. If you do not have time – make time. If you are not hungry, eat anyway – think about what you are making your body go through by not eating.

Here are some meal ideas that can be done in 5 to 15 minutes in the morning, I always recommend protein in every meal:

Topics: Law of Attraction, weightloss | No Comments »

My Experience Taking the Alberta Foreclosures Course

By zaheen | December 21, 2010

One of my passions is investing in real estate and I read books on it and still do. I also took a course last year which helped me purchase 3 units. However, I knew that the market has changed a lot and there are more foreclosures now than 2 years ago, yet I knew there is way to tap into the market so I decided to take this 4-day course.

On December 10 and 13, our class took a trip down to the Court of Queen’s Bench in Calgary, to understand the process of Foreclosure and how it works. It was heartbreaking to see families lose their houses due to various reasons and this course taught me one thing – to help or create a situation where the home owner’s credit is saved so they do not have to go through this nightmare.

On December 11 and 12, we spent 12-13 hours each day, understanding the Law, the system and rescue remedies for the homeowner. I have to tell you that the instructor was one of a kind because I have never been to courses where the instructor has taught for 13 hours!

I am amazed at how much knowledge I have gained out of this one area in Real Estate and how creative this can be than the conventional style of buying real estate. After the course, we are given the title – “ALBERTA FORECLOSURE RESCUE EXPERT”  – pretty neat, eh? Visit www.worldwealthbuilders.com for more information about courses in foreclosures in different provinces in Canada.

Topics: Law of Attraction, Real estate, wealthy mind | No Comments »

Dynamic Spin Release

By zaheen | November 29, 2010

Dynamic Spin Release is a revolutionary approach consisting of dozens of techniques and processes– that allows users to release their negative thought patterns, limiting beliefs and physical pain in as little as eight minutes. Dynamic Spin Release techniques are practical, easy to use with yourself and others, and work well with children.

Check out the website :

http://www.dynamicspinrelease.com/

Topics: Law of Attraction, NLP | No Comments »

But What Can I Eat for Snacks?

By zaheen | November 25, 2010

I have been coaching clients on releasing weight and the one common question I get asked is : “What can I eat for snacks?” Realize that we are bombarded with images of muffins, donuts  and bagels on TV and billboards and the food industry has done such a great job of helping store that in our subconscious. Ever gone to a staff meeting or board meeting and the snacks are coffee and donuts – always?!

Now that the Holiday season is upon us, there is no shortage of snacks in coffee rooms and staff rooms.  So how can we eat healthy and yet enjoy the season? Here are some ideas for healthy snacks that I give my clients and eat myself:

I would love to get any more ideas on healthy snacks so please comment. Hope this helped!

Topics: Law of Attraction, NLP, weightloss | No Comments »

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